Relationship Status - Part 3

Oh Carmen,

The next one really boggles my mind: In an open relationship.

In an open relationship: An open relationship is one where both partners agree to be mutually disrespectful to the other's feelings. Okay, technically that isn't the definition, it is basically a sex thing, but the dynamics of romantic relationships make it so this type almost always ends with someone getting hurt, and it is easy to see why.

We were made to love one another, but not to have "relations" with every other human on the planet. The books Luke and Matthew refer to Jesus' command to treat others the way you would want to be treated, and no person I know wants to be treated like they are not good enough. That is what open relationships signify, that the main person in your life isn't enough to fulfill your needs. If this is the case, then maybe you just need to be in a different relationship, not and open one.

Open relationships hurt people. Do not hurt people....period. You will find that one special woman, but until you do, treat the interim women with respect and compassion. If you are being disrespected, remove yourself from the relationship. Not only will you feel better but you will also prevent yourself from becoming disrespectful in return.

Your Father

Posted with Blogsy

Relationship Status - Part 2

Dear Carmen,

I promised you more advice on relationships, and trust me I've had a few. I'm going to skip around for the time being and cover It's Complicated. Because....well.....it's complicated. So much so that I think there will be a few more letters than the three that I promised.

It's Complicated: Relationships are sometimes hard work but they are never complicated unless you let them be. If you find yourself in a complicated relationship, ask yourself why. Complications within a relationship are usually a good sign that something isn't right, the relationship needs to be examined for its fruitfulness.

Your relationship with God is the same way, you will always be the reason for any complications. His love is deep and it is powerful, but it is straight forward. My relationship with God has gone through periods and various levels of complication, all of which were of my making. Any time the relationship got weird, it was because I pulled away, allowed anger to interfere, or just decided not to embrace His love.

If you find your relationship with Him is getting complicated, ask yourself what am I doing to make it so. Am I not listening? Am I pulling away from Him? Am I trying to things on my own? When you examine the relationship with a critical eye, you will surely see that the problem lays with your actions and heart and not with Him.

Your Father